I love you, I hate you
by vausemanaddict17
Summary: One shot Vauseman. Sprung out from my mind to soothe the fandom at this crucial time. Just read and enjoy and pray. We need lot of praying.


(This is not related to Orange is the New Black plot line or the fanfiction I write. Just some random thoughts.)

"If you can just stop loving her then you never really loved her at all. Love doesn't work that way. If you ever truly love someone, then it never goes away. It can become something else. There are all different sorts of love. It can even become hate- a thin line and all that- and, really, hate is just another kind of caring."

― **Blakney Francis** , **Someone I Used to Know**

They hated each other. It was so evident just like the rising sun in the morning. The could not stand the mere sight. If they meet by any chance, which they avoid at all cost, it would be like a meeting of two samurais, who would fight til the death. Piper was with Larry, in her comfort zone, in her mundaneness. Feeling safe yet always there was a sense of something missing. A desire to live, a fire to be rekindled, which was destroyed by misunderstanding or was it ego? Piper could not remember.

But there was a time, many moons ago, that she was madly in love. Yes. You read it right. Love can be a madness. But no one would believe that, when they see her now. No one knew that she, Piper Chapman, was in love with Alex Vause and they were toxic to each other yet their love was explosive. Every Time they look at each other, there was fire burning bright. But Piper chose a safe life which she regretted every single second of her existence. She hated Larry,in a way, who was just a prop, a binky for her to suck in til she come to her senses. It's been too long. Three years. A long time. All these time, when it came to sex, she either avoided Larry or gave in, if it's absolutely necessary. It was pure torture. To be with someone whom you have not an iota of love or affection. She used Larry and she did not even felt remorseful.

The next time she saw Alex, she could not take it anymore. She wanted to confront Alex. A confession. A kiss. She wanted to feel the warmth that was her's many years ago. She was her ALEX. Piper wanted to be possessive again. She wanted Alex. Her Alex. She wanted to end her dubious life.

She stared at Alex. A slap, as expected. If looks can kill, Piper would be dead by now. It was hate. It was pain. It was such sadness she could not explain. Then Alex kissed her. And she thought she died and went to heaven, or hell. It did not matter. When Alex was with her. Home was where you find love right?. After years of refusing to believe what was right in front of her eyes, Piper gave in. It was like an eruption of a volcano. All those desires, passions and temptation that they both hid, very cleverly, erupted and they were all over each other.

The ecstatic sensations Piper felt, just like those days, she could not explain. It was rough, it was not the soft and caring love making but giving in to pure, animalistic desires. Piper deserved it. For the fact that she hurt Alex so much and at the same time hurting herself. She felt her heart beating so fast and when Alex bit her bottom lip so hard, she tasted her own blood. She nibbled Alex's ear and then bit Alex's lips even harder. She scratched Alex's back, wanting to make her mark. It was not a conquest but both wanted to be in control and after some struggle, Piper gave in. She wanted Alex to win. She wanted Alex to be in control. She wanted them to be happy. This lie had to end. Piper wanted to live her life. This waiting, this torturous waiting had to end.

She thought to herself while she moaned in pleasure.

Larry Picked the phone when he saw it was Piper who was calling. Piper sounded breathless, Alex was cuddling her and kissing her softly. The anger was spent and both of them felt as if they just find out what love was supposed to be. Of course, Piper was distracted by Alex's playfulness but this has to be done. She felt Alex's breath of her neck and Alex started to touch her neck, pushed her hair back and planted a soft kiss.

Alex knew Piper. She knew Piper so well and Piper was done being blind to that. She told Larry that she was in love with a woman and she chose her. The decision was loud and clear. It's her choice and she wanted Larry to move away as soon as possible. Larry was dumbfounded and when he asked whether Piper loved this woman, the answer was crystal clear.

She always loved Alex. Always have and always will.

They knew what they have lost and by God's grace, they found each other again. It was a not a miracle. If there is love, it cannot be keep hidden, it cannot be stomped and crushed and chase away. It is something that you feel. Piper decided to be honest with herself, forgetting everything safe. She decided to free fall because she knew Alex would be there to catch her. Alex would always be her safe place. Her heaven on Earth...


End file.
